Pulling away

It’s the last weekend before the flight leaves.  You can cut the anxiety with a knife in every room.  Was this the right  decision, and will there be regret?  I breathe deep.

Pulled from my own foundation I knew what my Daddy would have said to me.  So I said it:  be a man, stand by your decision, and make the most of it.  My Daddy would have thrown a few “choice words” into the mix, and a louder voice than my own would have rang through the kitchen.  Glen Parker was famous for saying:  let your yes be your yes and your no be your no.  I’ve rested in the freedom to my make my own decisions, and now its being passed on.

Thirty minutes later, behind a closed door I hear familiar sounds.  The Kinks “Strangers” is playing and for this music loving Mother, I find comfort in knowing that he’s searching inside.  Comfort is defined as a state of physical ease and a consolation for grief and anxiety.   Letting music and quiet time be a comfort is how he has seen me deal with stress and anxiety, so I suppose this too has been passed on.

The lyrics speak volumes for anxious thoughts:

Where are you going I don’t mind
I’ve killed my world and I’ve killed my time
So where do I go, what do I see
I see many people coming after me

So where are you going to I don’t mind
If I live too long I’m afraid I’ll die
So I will follow you wherever you go
If your offered hand is still open to me

Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two, we are one
So you’ve been where I’ve just come
From the land that brings losers on

So we will share this road we walk
And mind our mouths and beware our talk
‘Till peace we find, tell you what I’ll do
All the things I own I will share with you

If I feel tomorrow like I feel today
We’ll take what we want and give the rest away

Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two, we are one
Holy man and holy priest
This love of life makes me weak at my knees

And when we get there, make your play
‘Cos soon I feel you’re gonna carry us away
In a promised lie you made us believe
For many men there is so much grief

And my mind is proud but it aches with rage
And if I live too long I’m afraid I’ll die

Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one

Live together or die alone was the constant theme from the series LOST.   Yet alone is where we make our decisions.  Where we let our gut, our mind, and our heart lead us.  Sometimes not knowing where, or why, or how is the best place to be in.  A place where you learn to really trust God, and breathe in deep the peace that is found there.

Today’s photo is one of a tree loosing its bark as it is “pulled away” from the tree.  The pulling away brings new growth; it brings forth strength necessary to stand taller, and helps to  fortify the foundation.

There is proof that a foundation is there.  There is a good heart, with a spirit to risk.   I believe that heart and spirit is secure enough to let go.Pulling Away

Crossing the Bridge

As I sit by the fire in my sunroom and observe a pure white blanket of snow, I am reminded of the fact that two very difficult dates are fast approaching.  February 16th and March 5th.  One date is a reminder of a failure and one date is a celebration of a new future.  One journey interrupted, and one just beginning.  No matter how much we want someone or something to change, we cannot force the bridge crossing.  It comes in it’s own time.  I know this because every good and perfect gift comes from above (James 1:17).

You can choose to find perfection in every circumstance.  The sadness I am feeling over my son moving to Portland will be replaced by the trust I place every day in God’s hands.  When I do this, grace walks into my world and says: rest and sit still for I can do wonders if you will let me.  I can make your mess in my miracle for I am your Messiah.  I learned a few weeks ago that the first four letters of Messiah is mess.  He came for our mess so I believe in that promise and I cling to it.  I held on to it when I had to cross my own bridge into a new life

As March 5th approaches, the bridge crossing will not be complete, yet I can see a photograph of my son in a cap and gown, wearing honors cords, and smiling that smile that melts hearts.  My life coach and mentor friend has told me that if we want to see a vision, we must claim it.  I claim my dreams and visions for many things that have not yet materialized.  There are places I remember, and people I love who no longer love me, yet I see the bridge.  It’s not yet crossed for some of my dreams.  But I continue to move forward in the truth that where I am now is where I’m meant to be.  I press send as I listen to the sounds of a guitar strumming; a son writing his own story: so I let the music play.

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Today’s photo credit is once again a photo by Ian Stuart Heap titled appropriately:  LIFT!

On this cold winter day, I am launching my blog and introducing my ideas to the world!

Photo Credit:  Ian Stuart Heap

Portland Bridge 

A bridge can be compared to life.  The starting point has one perspective and the crossing over takes you to a completely different view.  I hope to share on this blog, two generational perspectives on design, sustainability, photography, conversation, coffee, first impressions, architecture, acceptance, and joy.

As my son journeys to Portland for a “second generation” design degree with a perspective on using design builds for both shelter and sustainability,  I’ll be sharing his photos, combined with my practice of quiet times with a good cup of coffee on the porch.

I must write to release my thoughts and emotions.  His expressive outlet is through photography.

So look for upcoming posts and send any thoughts or ideas to porchtoportland@gmail.com

Glenice Parker